You Know You’re a Horse Lover When…

by Rebecca on November 24, 2006

in Animal Jokes

*If you accessorize your hairstyle with a piece of hay.
*If you examine every piece of rope or twine for its
halter potential.
*If you think a great vacation is spending a long weekend
in front of a horsetrailer by a dusty arena.
*If you take someone’s temperature and think 102°F is
normal.
*If you spend more money on horseshoes than your own
shoes.
*If you always keep carrots, apples, and sugar cubes in
your refrigerator.
*If you prefer the smell of stable to cologne.
*If you sleep with your boots on and count horses to fall
asleep.
*If your laugh begins to sound like a horse whinny.
*Instead of giving someone directions to turn “left” or
“right,” you tell them to “gee” or “haw.”
*If you still have your childhood horse statues in your
bedroom.
*If your favorite outfit is made of leather and includes
whips and spurs.
*If you talk to your horse more than your spouse.
*If you spend more time at the feed store than the grocery
store.
*If you cringe at paying five bucks for lunch, but won’t
blink at twenty or thirty spent on a riding lesson.
*If mucking stalls is more appealing to you than doing
homework.
*If you complain about aching after gym class, but will
never voice your back pain from the ride the previous day.
*If your room looks like a tornado hit, but you make sure
your horse’s stall is spotless.
*If you give up heat in your house to afford your horse’s
blanket and heated water
*If every time you go to the mall, you search through
every store for horse items… (if only those product
designers knew the money they could make)
*If every time you find a horse item, you buy it…
*If you buy horse earrings, even though your ears aren’t
pierced.
*If you buy a bumper sticker saying “I’d rather be
riding”, when you don’t own a car.
*If you buy that shirt with horses on it… because
“They’re so hard to find!”
*If your room is covered with horse posters, pictures of
you riding, horse calenders, and other assorted horse
figurines and knick-knacks.
*If you set up Windows with animated horse icons, horse
backgrounds, and neighing/trotting sounds.
*If every time you go to watch a movie, you ask, “Are
there horses in it?”
*If every time you go to BLOCKBUSTER, you head for the
kid’s/family section because it’s most likely to have
horse videos.
*If more than half of the movies in your collection are
focused around a horse/horses.
*If you won’t even consider a person of the opposite sex
unless they share your love for horses.
*If you own three or more t-shirts with various horse
events, barns, or breeds on them.
*If you turn down a vacation to Florida because you don’t
want to miss your riding lesson… (the only way you’ll
give it up is if you’re promised a ride in Florida)
*If you find proof that there ARE in fact horses in
heaven.
*If you will read an entire magazine about horse
physiology, but hate biology.
*If when at the grocery store, you determine to buy
carrots and apples… for the horses at the barn.
*If you refuse to shovel snow, but gladly shovel stalls.
*If one of the first things in your profile is “I LOVE
HORSES!” or something to that effect.
*If every page of your webpage has a horse background…
(or at least a gif)
*If your biggest dream as a kid was owning a pony… or if
you knew you couldn’t have that, at least a stuffed horse
or something comparable that you could ride.
*If at any time in your life, you set up jumps in the
backyard and walked the course.
*If, instead of skipping, you “canter”.
*If you find yourself drumming horse gaits with your
fingers.
*If your Breyer horse collection is larger than your penny
collection.
*If you take it as a compliment when people relate your
hair to a horse tail.
*If you will volunteer hours of time at the local barn,
but whine when your parent asks you to take out the
garbage.
*If you will memorize dozens of horses names and their
matching saddle letters, but have trouble remembering ten
vocab words.
*If you will memorize a complete dressage test, but can’t
remember three important names for your history test.
*If your doodles are always horses, and you are the best
at drawing them in your art class.
*If given the choice of going somewhere by car or horse
you opt for the 10 hour horseback ride.
*If you prefer one horsepower to 200.
*If you are afraid of getting your license, but speeding
along on the back of a 1,000lb animal is nothing.
*If you braid your horse’s hair perfectly but let yours
run wild.
*If you know how to tie a half-hitch knot but don’t know
the name of it. (is that what it’s called?)
*If you’re laughing right now because you relate so much
to these…
*If you even read this far because it interests you to
know you have so much in common with other horse freaks.


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