Joke: Things Not to Say Around Non-Horse People

by Rebecca on January 30, 2011

in Animal Jokes

These would be perfectly normal things to say in horse company, but not things you’d want to say in public or non-horse people might get the wrong idea!

  • Do you like my breast collar?
  • His sheath was really dirty, but I cleaned it.
  • In the winter, his Ass gets really hairy.
  • Don’t jump on him, sit down gently.
  • What a lovely Jackass!
  • She wants to breed to my stud.
  • There’s nothing like 17 hands between you legs!
  • Can I pet your Ass?
  • He had a bad attitude, so we castrated him.
  • He’s got a lot of stamina, you can ride him all day long.
  • Is she a maiden?
  • I wanted to breed to her stud, but he’s all booked this season.
  • You can come when we do the breeding.
  • He’s really good at walking and pooping at the same time.
  • He didn’t try to run away when we drove the nails in.
  • He broke his leg, so they shot him.
  • She bites her baby if it behaves badly.
  • She’s on a new diet, she’s only eating grass.
  • She just got a new rack.
  • If he’s not good, just grab his lip and twist it.
  • When I’m done riding him, you can have a turn.
  • They cut his toe shorter and he walks better now.
  • If her baby nurses too hard she bites it.
  • He’s much better if you ride him with a crop.
  • I jumped 4 feet high yesterday.
  • She’s got a really nice, big, square butt.
  • What color are her gums?
  • The mother is black and the father is white, and the baby came out black and white spotted.
  • Don’t worry, it’s normal for his mouth to foam.
  • All of her babies have been sold overseas.
  • I know she’s going to have a baby soon because her butt is soft.
  • Her baby started walking about 20 minutes after birth.
  • Her body was covered in 4-inch long hair, but I clipped it off.
  • He has trouble mounting her because she’s so tall.
  • She likes to roll in the dirt after her bath.
  • He has 64 babies.
  • He goes outside in just a blanket.
  • He was about 6 months old when we branded him.
  • I have to use a stool to mount him.
  • If he’s spilling his food on the ground, he might need a dentist.
  • I was listening to his gut sounds last night…
  • One testicle is visible, but I can’t even feel the other one.

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