Dog Talking to God

by Rebecca on November 22, 2010

in Animal Jokes,Animal Pictures,Animal Stories,Funny Animal Pictures

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed? 

 

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom if ever, smell one
another? 

 

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on the couch? Or is it the same
old story? 

 

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’? 

 

 

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog? 

 

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy
fields, and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? 

 

 

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti please. 

 

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
apologize? 

 

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember
to be a good dog. 

1. I will not eat the cat’s food before they eat it or after they throw it
up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like
the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar. 

4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’. 

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underware when he’s on the toilet. 

7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying
hello’. 

8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee
table 

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not
after. 

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the
carpet. 

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch. 

12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that
noise, it’s usually not a good thing.


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