SLEEPING HUMANS: It is known that sleeping humans are boring. The “direct
approach” is nearly always successful in rejuvenating a dormant human. Do
one of the following:
Trample, purr, meow or head-butt. If the human is being stubborn, you may
have to resort to more drastic tactics, such as ripping down posters,
rattling blinds, or singing at the top of your voice. Eventually the human
will get up and do what you want, usually in a disgruntled manner.
MORNINGS: In order to provide for you, the humans must leave the domain
every morning (usually before you take your first cat nap). To help them on
their way, howl loudly, massage their scalps with your claws, or gently
bounce on top of them in bed. See GAMES. The best time to do this is about
24 minutes before their alarm clock goes off. We must protect them from that
blaring noise for it could ruin their hearing.